What doest thou here?

Hullo,

I'm a bit glum... so I'm revisiting my one of my favorite stories in the Bible concerning Elijah. After Elijah tries to do great things for the Lord, yet no revival occurs, all other prophets are slain, and Jezebel is trying to kill him, he runs into the wilderness, falls under a juniper tree, and asks to die. He cries out to the Lord that he's all alone, he's tried to do good, it's not working, and he doesn't really see the point anymore. I often feel this way in community. It may be that I've been gifted with the spiritual gift of prophecy... and one big tripwire for prophets is pride. So often I invest in people, try to build intimacy, try to start conversations on blogs... (lol), write letters, take people out for lunch, listen, start converstations, build something for the Lord... but it's all my doing. So I get frustrated and despairing when I find myself alone even if I'm not truly alone.

Everyone experiences loneliness. It's so strange how sometimes you can feel completely beloved and needed in a group and other times you feel compeletely alone or ignored. I am close to one of the most loved people in the world; and yet I still experience deep haunting loneliness. I don't think anything will ever fill it... until I see the face of God. But I do hope that some day, God will send me a partner. That's one of the beautiful things about this passage in 1 Kings 19. At the end of it, God tells Elijah to find Elisha who will join him in his ministry. God knows it is not good for us to be alone.

Back to the pride thing, I heard a talk about community recently. As I am anticpating the loss of people as they move on from our community, and the loss of someone I love too much, I asked "How does one bear being left behind?" The answer was quite simple. "It's not about you". In a way, that is what the Lord conveys to Elijah when He asks, "What doest thou here?" He's asking "Why are you here? I didn't save your life for you to be moping in a cave! I saved you to bring my kingdom life to others. I called you to serve. I called you to total surrender - where nothing else matters but me." It's a good wake up call to us... when we're throwing a pity party. It may seem strange, but centering everything around God really does make one feel better.

And of course, God doesn't challange Elijah until AFTER he gives him rest and refreshment. So if you're feeling despairing, make sure you get some sleep and good food. It makes a difference. Now, eagerly await to see how God will meet your needs... for be assured He will!

Love,
Katie